Self Reflection in Times of Transition
“Reflective thinking turns experience into insight.” John C Maxwell
Terrible things happen to people every day. Some people use those things to be bitter about the world around them and some people see them as guides of how to navigate the world. There’s a difference. Sure, it is totally normal to experience feelings and lasting impact from things that happen to us, and there is an extra step where that thing can become wisdom.
Most of my clients know about my love of Oprah. Oprah is the best example of how someone can take things that happened to them and weave them into a warm hug for the world. She was sexually and physically abused as a child. She cannot undo that. She used those things and helped people feel less alone by having discussions on national television about it. She worked with neuroscientists and psychiatrists to educate all of us about trauma and it’s impact on the brain (just read “What Happened to You?”). Just knowing how trauma is stored in the brain helps us to know and anticipate how things will impact us. Also it helps lay the groundwork for how to heal. Yes, it is definitely possible to heal from trauma. Oprah has been our example of this.
Here’s where it gets hard…. it’s not easy to process trauma. It’s painful. It’s not enjoyable in the moment. There’s no way past it but THROUGH it. However, avoiding processing trauma just forces you to live with it every day in ways that you might or might not realize.
Self reflection becomes a very important piece to processing in times of transition. Transition might be a break-up, a divorce, dealing with trauma, an identity crisis, an existential crisis. Powerful and pivotal moments of our lives. You can either pine away after your ex for years or realize that the sadness you feel is because you actually loved them, which might be something that changes you forever. To look at things you ignored, explained away, ways you didn’t trust your own instincts, things you would do and not do again….. that’s self reflection.
I have seen self reflection be a revolutionary moment mostly for people who use psychedelics as part of their journey. Ketamine, in particular, allows a person to develop insight into a very difficult time in their lives. I once spoke to someone who used psychedelics after a divorce. The end of the relationship had been extremely painful and she was able to go back to times of beauty in her marriage and remember those memories and say goodbye. Her love and loving feelings were affirmed by her Ketamine experience, and it helped her close that part off, soften some of the bitterness, and move forward. She shared that she didn’t think it would have been possible without that experience. Additional Ketamine sessions helped her heal further and provided a stable foundation during the turbulence of a high conflict divorce.
Also, I always think of a close friend who participated in many Ayahuasca ceremonies after a huge betrayal within her marriage. I saw the experience of this betrayal completely change who she was, and not in a good way. After each Ayahuasca ceremony she participated in, I saw her soften. She got a divorce and healed. She went on to have several children and a successful relationship with a new partner. The communication between them was incredible and they even shared in an Ayahuasca ceremony together, which brought them closer and strengthened their marriage.
Psychedelics provide a view from the outside. When you are looking from the outside, you are able to see much more clearly what the issues are and what they are not. It’s easy to get stuck. When you are looking through colored glasses, everything takes a hue of that color. Psychedelics even everything out. They can provide clarity and self reflection from a different, less biased angle.
If you are stuck, feeling like you are drowning… you might need a break from treading water. A different perspective and self reflection can give you that. If you feel directionless in a huge transition, get some perspective from another angle. Self reflection can not only give you answers, it can give you insight.
