MDMA
I read the outcome of the phase 3 trials of methylenedioxymethamphetamine (MDMA) used for treatment of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). No surprise that MDMA was successful in alleviating the symptoms of PTSD when used alongside psychotherapy with a licensed therapist trained in psychedelic integration.
Full disclosure: MDMA is not new to me. I remember the first time I used MDMA recreationally way back when I was a young adult. I understood self love. I was love. The body I once felt like was my enemy was one with my internal self. I saw how these two things work together…. and after that experience, I never saw myself the same again. I saw myself in others and felt empathy towards them. The armor I had developed from years of carefully perfecting what I thought was keeping myself safe, was lifted. I saw that the only thing that the armor was doing was keeping me from being vulnerable with people that I should be vulnerable with. People it was safe to be vulnerable with. I was able to fully engage in life and be vulnerable in a way I didn’t think was possible. It wasn’t always perfect, but when you know the space of self love, self compassion, and understanding….. you can’t unsee it. It becomes your north star.
Currently as we await MDMA to be approved by the FDA (hopefully next year!) I facilitate Ketamine Assisted Psychotherapy sessions with clients. It’s been my most enjoyable and fulfilling adventure in my practice, further affirming that I am truly a psychedelic therapist. Ketamine is an internal experience. It is a dissociative drug, which means that you are separated from yourself when you take it at the recommended dose. With MDMA you are fully yourself without the wrecking ball of self criticism, but still alert and oriented. I wish I had a therapist with me during all of those times I was under the influence of MDMA. I would have had someone trained in integration to help me understand those experiences and build them into my daily life. Instead, I was left to figure it out myself and it is now that I am trained in integration of psychedelic experiences, that I realize what I missed out on knowing 25 years ago.
My child always says to me, “Mom, you are always reading ‘work’ books.” I am totally in love with what I do for a living. Who would not want to have the opportunity to see others in the best light? With all of their imperfections and complicatedness. I love it. But I can only take my clients as far as I have learned to go. And that makes me want to do my own work. The more shallow I stay, the less deep I can bring you. My struggles are not yours but it certainly helps to see the struggles you are facing when I have faced them myself. I think that is why my life experience has been an asset to my practice. People want to know that I understand their problems.
So it makes sense when you want to see someone that has tried the modalities of therapy that you do. It is helpful when you get stuck and can’t figure out something on your own, to have help. I think that psychedelics are that to people who are struggling. They offer you a different perspective when you aren’t able to see if yourself. There’s no shame in trying new things when the traditional ones aren’t working. Or when you are getting stuck.
What I appreciate about the studies that MAPS did with MDMA is that participants weren’t cherry picked. In the past, the study participants were not representing the full array of people out there struggling with PTSD. There was an effort to diversify the participant pool, which makes the outcomes much more meaningful. It shows that it works and it can work with most people. Also, I happened to know a therapist who was part of the study providing MDMA assisted therapy. She was impressed by the results with her own clients.
It’s promising that you might be able to accelerate your progress with psychedelics. It’s promising that PTSD does not have to be a lifelong battle just because of things that happened to you. Progress doesn’t have to come from the old “talk therapy” concept. It doesn’t work for everyone, so our approaches as providers shouldn’t have to be one size fits all either.
I’m so thankful for all of my psychedelic experiences, they have definitely helped me to learn about myself and therefore to be a better therapist to my clients.
