Overcoming Life Transitions with Therapeutic Support

We have all had big things happen in our lives that have resulted in needing to get some support. 

Breakup

Divorce

Feeling unfulfilled in life or career

Wondering if you should end your relationship

Letting go of what you thought would be

Chronic Illness

Death of a loved one

A big move

End of life

Just to name a few. 

It is at times of transition where there is a little opening and opportunity to learn a lot about yourself and how you handle hard stuff. 

Sometimes, if you don’t have support through a life transition, you can spiral. You can overthink things and either become really anxious and a lot of anxiety can result in depression (it is depressing to be so anxious it’s hard to function!)

A therapist can help you through the transition, supporting you to be able to respond to the overthinking, help you understand what triggers you to go down the rabbit hole and how to stop it or at least understand it. 

Let me give you an example. I work with a lot of women who are struggling with a divorce or breakup. It might have come out of left field or been something that’s been deteriorating over time. It’s easy to get really depressed over a failed relationship. It’s easy to fall into the routine of getting into bed with Ben and Jerry every night to soothe your pain. And that is ok, for a little while. It can be a dangerous place to stay though. At the end of a relationship, there is an opportunity to use it to get better. You can learn about what worked and didn’t work in your marriage or relationship. You can get clear about what you wanted and got or wanted and didn’t get. You can see the red flags and explore what made you not see them or ignore them. All of that is work you can do with a therapist. 

Your friends are not your therapist.  I am a therapist in real life, yet, I am not a therapist to my friends. I only get to see them in the brightest light. We’ve been friends for years and I would fight hard for that friendship. That friend is there when I need her. Supports me unconditionally. I support my clients unconditionally too. I love all of my clients. However, when that clock ends on our session, we separate and I don’t see them until the next session. We don’t have a friendship. I know my client’s stories. I have been watching and tracking their interactions with me and the way they report their interactions with others. I know how their relationships ended. I know what they have tolerated in relationships and when they are starting to do it again in the new one. I have nothing to lose by calling their attention to patterns. I know how their mother and father treated them growing up and where they are looking for what they didn’t get from others. I know when I need to flow with them and when I need to push. I will say the thing (lovingly) that their friend won’t say because she doesn’t want to hurt their feelings or wants to protect her.  It’s not the same. Your friends cannot be objective. I can. I’m watching your body language when you look at me and when you look away. I am not doing that with my friends. That part is shut off, and I’m just listening to them and supporting them how they need to be. 

Going through these transitions in life, it’s important that you get the support you need. A therapist can really help you get some perspective and figure out how to move forward. They can figure out what’s making moving forward hard (spoiler alert: it’s probably old stuff) and can help you file it away, be aware of it, and give you some agency in knowing what to do with it. 

Getting a therapist is your choice, of course. It’s also a really good resource to give yourself. I think of my 45 minutes of therapy as self-care. It’s an hour for me to be selfish and get care for myself. It’s a time to have someone who is focused on me to provide insight and support. If you’re struggling with the Ben and Jerry nights a little too long, it might be time to get a therapist. If you’re having panic attacks, you might need help. If you’re not sure how to move forward, it’s time to call a therapist. 

You certainly won’t be sorry you did.